Note: I usually send out a Newsletter on Thursday and then blogs on Friday and Tuesday. Yesterday was my birthday so I took the day off. Now I’m combining the newsletter and blog. The newsletter only goes to subscribers. Consider becoming a subscriber.
Birthdays have changed so much over the years but even as I grow older they are wonderful events. It used to be just a one-day event though my grandmother sometimes opted for a celebration on the Victoria Day holiday for both grandpa and I. Mine was the 23rd and Grandpa’s the 27th. The holiday never fell on the same date two years in a row so it could happen anywhere from the 18 to the 24th.
As a child it was a big deal. Being the only child and the only grandchild on the Guiler side had some wonderful advantages. Gifts were nice and some really nice gifts but those are mostly forgotten. It was the family fun that I remember. Helping Grandma set the table for the first outside meal of the season was always a fun chore. As the years went by I got better at knowing what had to go out to the table. The day was always full of laughter and joy. I knew I was loved when I was there.
Often I was allowed to bring a friend and that was usually Raye Ellen. We were pretty much inseparable for our young lives. Occassionally, there would be people who were part of the extended family. Grandpa’s sister and some of her family or Aunt Myrtle, Grandma’s sister, might visit from Toronto.
When I was seven Grandma put on a party for me at the Tea Room. Guiler’s Tea Room was a bit of an institution in my small town of Port Dover in those days. It was Grandma’s restaurant and was only open on weekends in the off-season. For my birthday she opened it and put on a spread for all the little girls in my Grade 2 class. I have pictures somewhere.
Both my eighth birthday and my 13th were spent at Fern Resort. My favourite place in the world. Dad taught me how to dive off the diving board the first time we went.
After my parents separated when I was 10 everything became more complicated. Birthday’s and occasions like Christmas were spent trying to please my mother’s demands and have some fun at Grandma’s. It didn’t matter how hard I tried to keep the peace, Mom would always be angry with me when I spent time with Dad’s family.
When Mom made plans for a birthday celebration for me it could be fun to be with my her. I’m not sure if she was competing with Grandma or if she just really enjoyed it. One year she took Raye, Connie and I to Niagara Falls for a day. We had a great time exploring at the Museum and the Wax Museum. Three girls of about 11 and 13 romped around in the mist from the falls and played on the grass. There was likely a picnic.
When I was in grade nine, Mom put on a huge party for my birthday. It was a Friday afternoon I think. I was in an all-girls class so all the girls of 9B came for a swim in the lake and hamburgers, ice cream and cake. Some of my friends still talk about that. Many of us took off down the beach and dove off the pier which is a bit of a right of passage in Port Dover. On that trip to the pier one girl met the man she would marry.
Because my birthday fell around the May 24th holiday, it also often involved fireworks. I understood the big party was not for me but it was fun to celebrate the event with the Queen and have the advantage of her big event alongside mine.
As an adult the celebrating of birthdays in two places continued but it was still more fun to spend it with Dad and his family. Mom died when I was 24 so I no longer had to balance the day between parents.
In those years Grandpa and often had our party supper at Hoover’s Marina, a wonderful hole-in-the-wall sort of restaurant, in Nanticoke, not far from home. The Hoover’s were neighbours of my grandparents and their restaurant had that same home-style feeling my grandmother’s Tea Room had.
When all of those wonderful people who liked to celebrate my birthday with me passed on it changed drastically. My kids were grown and weren’t too excited about celebrating with me. Two years ago I took on the tradition of some of my Dutch friends and hosted my own party.
Birthdays are quieter now. They seem to have evolved through birthday weeks to birthday months and over the course of the month I may have a celebratory coffee, lunch or dinner with some friends. It’s not the same but it’s still good and while I am less likely to count the years out loud now I am still blessed and happy to have taken one more trip around the sun.
Last night I had planned to take myself out for dinner but some new friends I had been at a meeting with in the morning decided that was unacceptable. They came with me for a great supper at another homestyle-type restaurant. Many thanks to them and all the others who sent wishes on Facebook, and delivered them with flowers at my door.
I’m blessed.
Journal Prompt
This week’s Blog Posts
Power to the People - some observations about the current consumer strike against the Lowblaws grocery chain.
A Cup of Cool Water - thoughts on the first hot day of the season and how to keep cool like my neighbourhood groundhog who likes the bowl of water I put out for the critters.
Some Ministry Notes:
Sermons/Reflections
My sermons and reflections will now be made available in video format only for paid subscribers. They will be sent in a separate post about two times per month.
I’m pleased to have several Sundays lined up with Sermons/Leading Worship in some local United Churches. I’d love to see you there. (List below)
June 2 - Coborne Village United - Simcoe, ON 10:30 a.m.
June 9 - Colborne Village United - Simcoe, ON 10:30 a.m.
June 23 - Waterford United - Waterford, ON 10:30 a.m.
Spiritual Direction/ Spiritual Accompaniment
Wrestling with faith is a good thing. It is a sign your faith is real, not just manufactured or a blind following. Like Jacob, when we wrestle with our understanding of the Great Mystery which some call God, we leave the journey differently than we began. We may even be a little damaged but only our egos have suffered the blows. Our spirits begin to soar.
My journey has not been an easy one. There has been much wrangling with my beliefs which meant some more serious wrangling with my faith. My Christian tradition has been challenged to the core. The journey is not finished. If it were then my faith would become static and meaningless.
If your spiritual journey is one where you feel lost and bruised it’s good to have a companion who understands.
After working as a trainer in Mental Health Peer Support for 25 years and then becoming a coach with the International Coaching Federation I studied for two years with Ontario Jubilee and am now certified by Spiritual Directors International. A skilled and compassionate listener, I am willing to support you in your journey. Learn more here.
A licenced officiate in the Province of Ontario, Peggy offers personally tailored wedding services to any couple committed to a lifelong commitment of love. Renewing of vows and other services are also available. Details here.
Courses and Studies - Special prices for Newsletter subscribers
Journaling for Personal Growth - A Place to Begin - The next course July
Two Training Videos are Always Available
Journals and Planners
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Peggy Guiler is an author, spiritual director and minister who lives in Southern Ontario Canada. She also offers journaling courses.
This blog appears on Tuesday and Friday most weeks and a regular Newsletter roundup is sent to subscribers every Thursday.
To find out more about spiritual direction, ministry and training offered by Peggy visit her website at River of Hope Enterprises.