Some days it feels like my FB feed is just one big “meme” but there are times, many in fact, I truly enjoy seeing those annoying little boxes with pictures and sayings. Some memes make me think for a minute. It’s like a breath of fresh air or a mini meditation. Often, they provide a childhood memory - mostly good - and some give my heart a little comfort. Some make me laugh out loud. As long as I don’t fritter the whole day away looking at memes, they are a good thing.
The one I read this morning which made me think I’d write about memes said, “When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up.” That sent me down memory lane. Perhaps I’m more sensitive to childhood memory these days because I’m in the middle of writing a memoir but I think questions like that can make all of us pause and think.
What was it for you? Did people ask you, back in the day when it wasn’t inappropriate to ask such questions, “ Do you want to be a doctor, lawyer or Indian Chief?” It’s doubly inappropriate now because that question was not only racist but sexist. No one ever considered that a girl could be any of those things. Occupations for women, when I was a kid, were pretty much limited to teacher, nurse, or secretary and no one ever considered that wife and mother were an option. They were just what was expected. A career on top of that was not something everyone looked at as desirable.
So…that meme got me thinking about what I wanted to be. What sort of dreams did I abandon and were there any I had followed?
I did want to be a wife and mother. It seems I’ve failed miserably at both of those.
At eight I wanted to be a stewardess. I had flown home from Saskatoon that year and the ladies who helped me navigate the wickets and luggage had been wonderful. They didn’t even seem to mind the trouble my hooped dress caused or handing me off to others when we changed planes in Windsor. I got a little airsick on the last leg of that journey, but they kept me calm. I wanted to be someone like them. Someone who could be so kind to people.
As a teen, I believed I wanted to work with challenged kids. Now these kids live in our community and some even travel on my school bus. A family friend decided to arrange a tour of an Orillia hospital where many of these kids were housed.
Housed, is a nice word for the warehousing of humans that happened there. The regular hosing down of children I witnessed, made the thought of working there revolting. I didn’t have the stomach for it.
Neither did I have the stomach to be a nurse. My mother wanted me to be a nurse so she could live vicariously through me. She had wanted to go to nursing school, but her aunt would only lend her enough money to go into teaching, so her dream had been squashed. I wanted nothing to do with it and had the Latin and Science marks to prove I was unfit for the profession.
I wonder if my rebellious nature didn’t cause me to do so poorly in those subjects.
As options began to open up for women in other careers and the introduction of Community Colleges created an educational option which was not dependent on university, I hit upon a dream. I thought I could make it come true. I wanted to write and becoming a journalist sounded like a great idea.
While my work life has taken many twists and turns into other occupations and jobs I never considered, like bartending and mental health (not so far apart when you think about it), I am living the dream…sort of. Only one chapter is written.
All of that from one little meme. Thanks, Facebook.
Peggy Guiler is an author, spiritual director and minister who lives in Southern Ontario Canada. She also offers journaling courses.
This blog appears on Tuesday and Friday most weeks and a regular Newsletter roundup is sent to subscribers every Thursday.
To find out more about spiritual direction, ministry and training offered by Peggy visit her website at River of Hope Enterprises.